Bribing Kids With Food for Good Behavior | Everyday Life - Global Post

Bribing Kids With Food for Good Behavior

by Rosenya Faith, Demand Media

You're in the middle of the grocery store and your kiddo's cranky and whiny; you know a meltdown is on its way. “Honey, if you behave until we get home, I'll make you an ice cream cone.” He's instantly silent and full of smiles. Unfortunately, as simple as the solution may seem, it may be doing your child more harm than good.

Unhealthy Connections

Foods offered as bribes and rewards for good behavior typically aren't broccoli and spinach, but rather chocolate, candy and other unhealthy treats that can lead to obesity. To make matters worse, these high fat, sugar bribes are often offered at a time when a child isn't hungry. When you bribe him with food for sitting quietly during a car ride or acting politely when grandma comes to visit, he'll likely come to make an association between food, rewards and positive feelings. The association between junk foods and rewards also demonstrates that sweets and other unhealthy foods are actually more valuable than healthy alternatives, furthering weight gain concerns. When a parent says, “Eat your vegetables if you want to have dessert,” it is conveying the message that the dessert is more valuable, thus lessening the child's interest in vegetables and placing dessert on a pedestal.

Responsibility not Reward

When you provide a youngster with bribes for completing tasks she should be completing anyway, it may not be long before she expects a reward for every basic task. Cleaning up her toys, using good manners at the dinner table, avoiding temper tantrums in the grocery store; these are all good behaviors, but when you associate them with reward, what happens when you don't have one available? If you've run out of cookies, what motivation is there for a child to pick up her toys?

Unspoken Messages

Bribing a youngster with food may be sending out a plethora of messages that you never intended to send. By offering a chocolate bar for behaving in the store, you may be telling your child that you don't think he's capable of good behavior without the bribe. Furthermore, you may also be telling him that you don't think he wants to behave politely and must be bribed to be willing to cooperate. It's also never a sibling or friend who is bribing a child to behave. When the parent bribes, it sends the message that only adults care about good behavior, and if the child is in the company of other children, then the child doesn't need to behave quite as well or have manners that are quite so nice.

Upping the Ante

Offering food as a bribe removes the value from the behavior, and places it on the bribe, instead. She may not learn to exhibit good behavior because it is an important quality, but because showing good behavior will earn her a bribe she wants. As this cycle develops, you may have to ante up and offer a chocolate bar or a bag of chips more often. While she once cleaned her room because it was an important task, now she waits with her hand out to see what you have to offer before she bothers to invest the effort. While it may seem relatively harmless right now -- a treat for a chore doesn't seem like a big bribe -- down the road she may come to expect increasingly bigger bribes to complete her homework, act politely at the dinner table or to be home by curfew.

Be a Role Model

If you want your youngster to demonstrate good behavior, show him how to do it. Kids are constantly watching and learning from a parent's example. If you're polite when you interact with your child and other people, he'll come to place a value on good manners. When your child sees you going above and beyond to be kind and charitable, these are qualities he will want to develop in himself, even from a very young age. While a child will explore his environment to learn about the world, you are his primary learning base -- everything you do and say will help to mold your child into the person he will become.

Worthy Incentives

Sometimes your child goes above and beyond what you expect of her and it's wonderful to acknowledge her efforts. Nevertheless, put the lid back on the cookie jar and give your kiddo a hug instead. Rather than food, offer your youngster something much more valuable -- you! Offer praise and reward her with your time when your child does something without the promise of a bowl of ice cream or a package of candy. Your praise tells a child she did a good job and you're proud of her -- there is probably no better reward to a child than that.

Library

Monday, October 14, 2013